Parents

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about the expectations we have about our parents. As children we believe that those people who raised us and taught us right from wrong not only have all the answers but are infallible. As children, most of us believed that our parents had not pasts. I, for one, cannot remember ever really thinking about what my parents were like before they had my brothers and me. I never considered that my mother may have had other boyfriends before my father or that my father was a bit of a trouble maker as a teen. We were told stories by our grandparent, aunts and uncles but it was all family lore, not really truths about our parents.

Then, one day, sometimes a little too unexpectedly, we find out that our parents are not perfect. We find out that sad, sad fact that they are merely human like the rest of us. It can be a little disturbing to find out that that people we put upon a pedestal had a past, did things that they may not be quite so proud of and did not always practice what they preached.

It's not really their fault either. I don't ever recall my parents actually telling me that they were perfect. My dad used to joke around and sing that he was so pretty he could puke (I could get disowned for divulging that) but I never remember him or my mother saying "Listen to what I teach you because I am perfect." It was me who perched them up above everyone else. And when I found out that they weren't all I built them up to be I was disheartened.

I would like to believe that my daughter is not under the same illusion that her mother is perfect. Goodness knows I've made plenty of mistakes for her to see. Then again, maybe my parents made mistakes right in front of me but I ignored them because it was easier, more comforting, to believe that Mom and Dad were flawless. Maybe it's what we need to believe until we are old enough to deal with the truth. After all, these are the people who instruct us in life and how to live it. They are the ones who instill those morals and ideals we take through our lives, for better or worse. And maybe the final lesson they teach us in life is that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. It's a hard lesson to learn but who better to teach us than our parents.